Why must I be so dang difficult?

I just moved into a new singles ward. What this means is that I must fill out a new membership sheet and get my picture taken for the "Date Book".
If you have never filled one this type of paperwork, let me enlighten you. They ask all the basic information like Date of Birth, gender, address, etc... And then you get half way down the paper. There are questions followed by empty lines, which means they want you to use all those up, right? One question is what callings you've held. Well, how far back do you want to go? I was the Beehives President, and the Youth Activities Chair back in Young Womens. So I wrote down every calling I've had since I got out of High School. Sunday School teacher and Institute activities chair and Ward institute rep. Great. This means I'll be called to do something in Relief Society, where I will have to love the girls that seem superficial. Fabulous. Even Jesus loves them, so I guess I will have to too (if that is my ward calling...). The final question is describe yourself so that we may more fully get to know you. 5 lines. Well...this just opened my sarcastic can of worms. I can't remember exactly what I wrote, but something along these lines. "I don't believe the church is true. Not everyone gets salvation. I hate puppies and kittens. And the end of the world is coming. Oh and some people tell me that I am a tad sarcastic."
I showed this answer to my lovely best friend Kayla, and we snickered half way through Relief Society. We are both quite morbid in our sense of humors. Her comment was that our knew bishopric will think that I have issues and will be called in right away so straighten me out. Three weeks later, I have yet to meet the Bishop.
The final act is the mug shot. Growing up as the youngest of six, I believe this is the reason why I must do things the more creative, and most often, the hardest way. So to get my personality in a picture nut shell, I gave them my "Home Alone" scream face. This way, when potential Date-ies flip through all the pretty faces for their victim and glance at my disturbing face, they would double take and know something is wrong with that girl and stay away. (I don't have time this semester). So three weeks ago, I got this picture taken, and thought I got away with murder until today when I was asking to see who I talk to about changing our house name. (the "Green House" is just not colorful enough; it's now known as the 'Tree House") Turns out the same person who takes the stalker file pictures has the power to change our name. So after much philosophical comments about being known by the works of my hands versus the works of my face, we agreed in an exchange. I would take a nice picture for the renaming of our house. This was a hard apple to swallow, it took two pictures to have me look somewhat not in agony (It's not my real smile). They stole my individuality from me. Now, I'll just be one of those pathetic girls that only smile because it makes them look cute so they will get some guy action. Disgusting.
And on that note, Kayla has someone else in her life. This morning, she left with that someone to go up to Logan to meet his sister and extended family. As I watched those two walk to his car, my heart dropped because Kayla wasn't mine anymore. I am so excited and happy for her I love it when people I know start dating boys, but at the same time, I was depressed for me. So I walked up to church by myself today...At least I'll have school to fill this void in my life.
P.S. This does not mean I need to be set up on dates. Thank you.